Forgetting Sarah Marshall – Screw your Ex Girlfriend

I finally saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  First I want to start off by saying that it is a great movie.  the portrayal of the male’s point of view in a breakup frighteningly accurate. 

I’ve been having a very hard time getting over my ex-girlfriend… even though we broke up last October.  I don’t know what my deal is.  I really thought she was the one I guess… But I was wrong.  For the last 9 months I’ve still been hanging out with her on a semi-regular basis.  Which in retrospect must symbolize some subconscious self-masochistic behavior.  To be blunt, I haven’t even attempted to get over her.  Yeah I have met some other girls and had a fling or two.  But I never took any of it seriously because in the back of my mind I figured one day my ex and I would get back together. 

I’ve attempted from time to time to cut her out of my life, but havent had any success.  It’s like I’ve been addicted to her and I lack the self control to actually push her out of my life for any reasonable amount of time.  Yesterday however, I think things changed.

I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

For those of you who havent seen it, it is about a guy who gets dumped and attempts to move on by going on vacation.  His ex is there with her new lover.  Hilarity ensues. 

From the moment the movie opened, I felt a complete connection with the main character.  In fact, I was the main character.  This guy and I would be great friends if he actually existed, and watching the absurd pain and torture he went through, and put himself through, made me realize a few things.

Kristen Bell - Forgetting Sarah Marshall

1.  My ex is a bitch

honestly, screw her. she is a bitch.  She has become a self serving manipulative brat who comes running back everytime someone new in her life hurts her.  I have become her safety net.  She knows I treated her like a princess and whenever she doenst get what she wants, she knows she can come back and i’ll give her the affection she needed.  not anymore.

2.  It’s her loss not mine

Hell yeah it’s her loss.  I seemed to forget that she dumped me, I made excuses for what happened for the longest time.  I wouldnt accept the fact that she had done this.  Well, it is her loss.  She keeps coming back around for emotional support, but what will she do when it is actually gone?

3.  Our break-up isnt completely her fault.  I could have done things differently as well

Contrary to number 2, I did do things to push her away from time to time.  Like most guys, I did have jealousy issues that took a toll on our relationship.  I also could have worked harder on a few other things including working out.  But at no point in our entire relationship did she ever doubt my love and admiration for her. so screw her. It is her fault. 

4.  There will be someone else

Of course there will be someone else, Hell there have already been half a dozen other people.  Why on earth concentrate on one person who has so little disregard for your feelings.  My problem now is that I’m running into girls that are fun, but not thatfun.  They just aren’t perfect.  But wtf, they dont need to be perfect.  At least they are there.  And since the break up, I have actually been going out and been trying to get into better shape, so that is a plus in itself.

5.  She’s probably become a slut

Now, I dont have proof, and I’d hope she has some self respect, but judging from her party pictures on facebook and myspace, she’s become a little promiscuous. It sucks when you’re jealous about your ex after you are broken up with her.  I hate it.  I’ve been trying to avoid checking her profiles but they always show up on my feed.  But after last night, who gives a damn, I just need to cut her out completely.

6.  My friends were right

For months, my friends have been saying stuff like “she’s a bitch”, “she’s a slut”, “she’s banging other guys”, etc.  they were all right.  It hurt to hear it, and its funny that it took a movie to make me realize what a bia she really was.  But she is all of the above and more.  People need to listen to their friends more.  They are usually right and typically have an unbiased opinion about the things that are going on in your life.   

7.  I am a good guy

Hell yeah I am a good guy, I’m a great guy and like I said earlier, there will always be someone else!